It is amazing at how much you can get accomplished when you wake up just a tiny bit earlier. Typically I barely am able to roll myself out of bed around 7:30. I leave just enough time to go get Emily up, pour juice cups for the girls and fix Russ something to eat before he walks out the door. This leaves no time for me to get around without interruptions and no time for me to mentally wake up before being bombarded with giggles and questions. Most important I am rushing into my day without even giving a second thought to the one who should most consume me. A God who loves me completely and want me to put my hope and trust in him. He desires a relationship with me…. but I just didn’t have time for that, especially in the morning. It is easy to realize how absurd that sounds, but 6:30 comes and it is hard to put those thoughts into action. I knew this needed to change so I recently started putting a greater effort into waking up early. It is hard, but it has been so good.
This morning I was thinking about how much I had already accomplished it wasn’t even 8:30 and so much was done. Then I heard the pitter-patter (or small heard of elephants) running toward me. Two bright eyed blonde girls who excitedly said “MOM, can we go to the park?” My heart sank and I verbally let out an ugh. My first thought in my head was “I don’t want to go to the park”. I didn’t, it wan’t on my list of fun things I could do and it certainly wasn’t on my agenda. Key words revealing my sinful attitude, I and my. I was being completely selfish not even giving a second thought to what sounded fun to them. Just 1 minute before I was thinking of how ahead of the game I was. It should have been clear to me that a 45 minute trip to the park wouldn’t ruin the days schedule. Sometimes as a mom I forget that I am not just an “I” I am an “Us”. Not that I times don’t exist, they are important and needed. But on a day to day basis we operate as an us unit. My schedule is our schedule and I need to be more intentional at not just filling it with things that bring me joy, but my girls to. Sometimes I may not want to go to the park but maybe I should that day because I love my children. So today we went to the park. We may not go every time they ask but hopefully the next time they do my heart won’t be so selfishly tied to an agenda, or my desires. Maybe I will react with a positive attitude and be excited about something that brings them joy. After all, it isn’t all about me.